1. "I don’t like to think of myself as an insincere person but if I say I love you and I don’t mean it then what else am I? Will I cherish you, adore you, make way for you, make myself better for you, look at you and always see you, tell you the truth? And if love is not those things then what things?"
    Written on the Body, Jeanette Winterson (via helplesslyamazed)

  2. Back again

    So, readership at large, I’m back. I (obviously) failed at the whole book review thing this summer, and I’m not going to promise that I can do it this semester. I will say, however, that I have  A LOT of free time this semester (probably something to do with my lack of friends at this school. I’m not actually a weirdo, btw.) so I’m probably going to try and update a little more. Have some conversation with myself, since I don’t really see a huge amount of people here. Whatevs. I’m considering reviewing my school books too - probably just fiction and poetry, unless someone just absolutely wants a review on “Psychological Science, 3rd edition.” And you don’t. You really really don’t. 

  3. I don’t need it

    So: Girl has change in life. Girl moves to strange small town in extreme environment. Girl meets handsome but mysterious boy. Girl suspects something fishy, but isn’t disturbed by it. If this sounds familiar, it’s not Twilight. Need by Carrie Jones follows the same (now too-familiar) format. On the plus side, it has pixies. I was excited about the pixies part. I mean, I expected shit to happen. Pixies aren’t nice. And no, they weren’t nice in the book, but I couldn’t really bring myself to care about that. There wasn’t enough emotion in it for me. Zara, the heroine, just experienced the death of her father figure, was forced to move from a temperate environment to a near Arctic one, finds out her boyfriend isn’t who he says he is (surprise), and that her father is evil and wants to imprison her mother. Strangely, she takes all of this rather well. A little too well. Just once, I would like to see a female heroine be freaked the hell out when her boyfriend turns into/ reveals himself as whatever mythical creature. I’m all for acceptance, but at some point Zara had to break. And she doesn’t. And you never get the hint anywhere about why she might be strong enough to not break. There are more books to the series, but unless my library has them, I won’t be spending my money on it. 

    Verdict: Even if you love the format, save eight bucks and go to the library.

  4. Shakes on a plane

    It’s an absolutely beautiful day outside. One of the benefits of living in this climate is that spring is so much better. Even though at home it’s now summer. I fly home in 5 days, and there will be a 20 degree temperature difference. Just a little ridiculous, right? I’m not a huge fan of the summer at home. It’s funny because even though I’m enjoying the outdoors right now, I know when I get home I won’t want to step outside. In the summer at home, kids play indoors. And honestly, I look at people obsessed with being outside here (in this nice weather) and I think, “they so wouldn’t be doing that at home.” For example, I sat outside for three hours today. I would have to take a shower and a nap after that, because I would be gross and have mild sun poisoning. In addition to the sun, I’m not incredibly excited about home. The job prospect I was hoping for doesn’t look like it’s going to pan out (by this I mean I had to reschedule an interview and they haven’t gotten back to me on it), and if I don’t get that job, I have to spend the entire summer at home - May through September - with my parents. I love my parents, but I’ve realized that they’re not good for my mental health. At all. So this could suck. Or, since I’m watching Buffy in an attempt to procrastinate, I could also say, “Welcome to the suck.” So fingers crossed about the other job. I might be working in a hospital gift shop otherwise. It would actually be really interesting, and I would actually conquer POS (not piece of shit, although the system I learned it on was). Conquering POS is an unofficial life goal. And I’m pretty sure it improves chances on any job hire. 

    I have two exams and a paper left before home. And for some reason, I’m not freaking out about the paper like I should be - the professor thinks I have terrible writing skills, but I only get bad grades on his papers.  But anyway, I assume that I’m just not going to get a good grade on it, despite it might be the one subject I have a really good grasp on in that class. It’s about translation, in essence, and this last paper is about writing about two translations that we translated. So it’s basically writing about your own creative process, which I *hope* I can do. Fingers crossed again :) 

    Oh, and shakes? Not on a plane yet, but I can’t figure out if they’re about the staying at home for the summer or for exams. But I can have the physical signs of anxiety without the mental. Gwoss. It’s only embarrassing when someone notices. And since I spend most of my meals dining alone (perfecting the art of solitude), not a huge problem. Have a problem eating meals with small components though. Or eating anything that isn’t sweet. I ate lunch, but that was definitely the primary meal of the day. Fun times. Disjointed post much? I think I might do reviews of children’s books, and learn to run a 5k. One of those is going to get accomplished despite job choice, the other if I have hospital job. I hope I didn’t just jinx myself. 

  5. So I read this book in 5th grade, and was completely obsessed. Obsessed. I read it multiple times. But I read a lot. a lot a lot, and I’ve forgotten a lot of book titles from when I was little, and so the only thing I remembered about this book, besides the fact that I was obsessed with it, was this line “‘I could feel the bones in your head shift,’ said Sorry”. So today I realized that I really wanted to read it again (actually, I’ve realized it before, but today was the first day I had the bright idea of what follows) and remembered the magic of Google Books. At first I tried it on regular Google, which was, of course, a little too hit-and-miss. (There was actually this really fascinating article, I think on brainpickers.org, that talks about how someone is trying to develop a different search engine that brings up hits not just from places like ehow. But I digress.) So I put that line into Google Books, and then wham! this appeared. It’s times like this that I remember that the Internet truly is magic. Ok, back to studying. Maybe. Or maybe I’ll just keep updating my goodreads account. Byez. edit: also, to see the book on amazon, click on the photo! :)

    So I read this book in 5th grade, and was completely obsessed. Obsessed. I read it multiple times. But I read a lot. a lot a lot, and I’ve forgotten a lot of book titles from when I was little, and so the only thing I remembered about this book, besides the fact that I was obsessed with it, was this line “‘I could feel the bones in your head shift,’ said Sorry”. So today I realized that I really wanted to read it again (actually, I’ve realized it before, but today was the first day I had the bright idea of what follows) and remembered the magic of Google Books. At first I tried it on regular Google, which was, of course, a little too hit-and-miss. (There was actually this really fascinating article, I think on brainpickers.org, that talks about how someone is trying to develop a different search engine that brings up hits not just from places like ehow. But I digress.) So I put that line into Google Books, and then wham! this appeared. It’s times like this that I remember that the Internet truly is magic. Ok, back to studying. Maybe. Or maybe I’ll just keep updating my goodreads account. Byez.

    edit: also, to see the book on amazon, click on the photo! :)

  6. fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo: [Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “Read English Major Armadillo” Bottom text: “Feel like you’re not sufficiently pretentious to be an English major”] Submitted by lesbrary

    fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:

    [Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “Read English Major Armadillo” Bottom text: “Feel like you’re not sufficiently pretentious to be an English major”]

    Submitted by lesbrary

  7. »  The most beautiful bags in the world (right now, for me)

    via purseblog.com. Not my favorite color, but the shape and structure are so amazing.

  8. Various sundry items

    So I would like to write better posts, more interesting posts. And I always think of them too, but when I get here I don’t have anything to say. Also, as much as I love my tv shows, I think they suck my creativity. Not even kidding. It’s funny how film stories do that. Also really popular fiction does the same thing. Poetry and “serious” fiction tend to inspire me. I guess that’s why certain books are labeled classics, while others are not. Anyway, I need to finish Torchwood before my exams, or at leas this season. That won’t be hard, but I do wish I was less compulsive about things like that. The one thing that helped my vaguely OCD tendencies was also an SSRI, and those never do well for me.

    Example: that same medication also made me wake up at 5 in the morning completely awake. It was kind of nice, actually. I started to appreciate the morning sun, the soft light of it, and getting to eat a breakfast as it got brighter. I also sort of made friends with one of my former high school classmates. Technically we we went to the same college as well (no longer since I transferred), but I found out he was an early riser, and for several weeks, before I caved and called my psychiatrist, we would sit together at the counter of one of my favorite bakeries. That sounds like we made a plan, but it was more we kept constantly running into each other.

    He was never my favorite person in high school. Ever since he endeared himself to me by telling me to stop yelling (yelling himself) when I was actually having an animated discussion in 8th grade English, I’ve kind of held a grudge. Petty. I know, but most fights in 8th grade are petty. He went on to be student body president, I went on to have a small nervous breakdown. I feel like I should mention those things were a few years apart.  Anyway, I would show up and he would show up, or vice versa. I would eat my cinnamon roll or various other sugary item, and he had coffee. Always coffee. We didn’t talk much beyond the hello and goodbye, using a newspaper or class reading as an excuse to not talk. But I started to realize that he was not his 8th grade self, and I hoped he realized that I wasn’t either.

  9. Cleanliness is next to Steve Jobs

    I realized today that I could wash my phone cover. Which I then proceeded to do. Sadly, the dirt I thought was there is apparently an actual effect, or is too deeply ingrained - but that’s too embarrassing to really think about. It does feel cleaner at least. I try not to think about how dirty my cellphone is, but seriously. I’m the only one who uses it (at least for now), so I guess it’s only my germs, but I still wince when people pull them out in the bathroom. I’m also the pot calling the kettle black in that case. But I don’t talk on the phone while in the bathroom. That’s a little much for me. If someone can hear where I am on the phone, I probably shouldn’t be on the phone in that place. I kind of love my phone cover. When I lost my phone in a giant snowdrift (well, more likely in a building but I was drunk so who knows), my mother kind of pointedly sent a huge otterbox case when she sent my new phone. It was bright pink, and the person who most accurately described it said it looked like gameboy. I never was patient enough to play gameboys. So my sister, thank god, sent me a new one as part of a birthday present. It’s a speck. And it’s 3D, which even I can see. Since I have no depth perception, that’s pretty impressive. Here’s the link, if anyone is interested. Mine is in red:

    http://www.speckproducts.com/geometric-iphone-4-cover-red.html

    I’m off to do homework. Blech. I actually kind of like writing papers, but I haven’t gotten desperate enough to start them. I think that’ll start around Wednesday. Today is the last week of classes, which is beyond strange. I don’t want to leave, but I DEFINITELY don’t want to be here for summer (because language is not my forte). Have an excellent day - the leaves are finally coming out on the trees here, and the temperature should be in the low 70s. Heaven :) 

  10. I’ve never understood why I enjoy reading baking and cooking blogs so much, but I don’t actually cook or bake that much. It doesn’t seem that hard, when I look at the directions (granted, I only look at the ones that look easy), but for some reason I never make the hundred or so recipes saved in my bookmarks. I just read my favorite cooking blog, 17 and Baking, and it’s so lovely. She hardly ever posts, which is understandable give the fact she is in college. I’m in college too, but I can’t bake. Not that I’ve ever really really tried. Maybe this summer I finally will. I applied for a job at a camp at home, but I had to mail the letter of application. So old-fashioned, haha. It takes up to a week to get there, but it should be there right now. Unfortunately, the last time I mailed something from that particular mailbox, it never showed up in the recipient’s mail. Granted, the recipient’s mailroom is incredibly dysfunctional - they lost a package of hers for 18 months, but I still worry that it’s the actual mailbox. I never thought I would lose my faith in the Postal Service. But the point is, I think I may actually want this job. I mean, I wanted the internship I applied for, but this job has actual relevance to my real-life job goals. I’m just convince I’m not going to get it, because of the down time for letters. It has to be there, but I don’t know why I haven’t gotten an email or a call or something. I think I’m just being impatient. and that I should actually call them. Or email them. My Debbie Downer informs me that yes, I should do this so I can find out that they don’t want me. I should note that my Debbie Downer is my self. Also known as negative self-talk. Love that stuff. Not. I’ll try to write more lyrical prose next time. Maybe on my Fridays, which I usually enjoy. 

About me

I'm 20-something student over a thousand miles from my homes. I have the occasional annoyance of mental illness. I really love felt-tip writing pens, and the satisfaction of wearing rainboots while walking through a puddle. I also like starting sentences with "I..." But I'd rather know about you. So do tell :)

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